|
|
HAPPY EASTER (NEW)
LIFE AFTER A STROKE This may be boring to some of you but I hope many will read a bit of my life and may be you will want to tell your story. Sharing is good as sometimes families get to close and see us every day and do not know what we feel inside us.
I am now slowly getting over my 5th stroke. As I write these words, my mind is struggling to concentrate on what I want to say. I get confused and forget the conversation I may be having. I forget what happen yesterday so important things have to be written down. I often get very annoyed that something my husband or daughter said or did, I won't remember and they get annoyed as they think I am just being awkward. I feel at times when they said they did say what was said and I feel they did not say it. I get to feel may be they are tricking me. If my mind don't believe them I convince myself I was right and will go to my bedroom and cry. It's so hard to accept and understand and you get no sympathy as your family think you knew what you were saying or doing. You are alone and only you know you do not remember.
I have been lucky as each stroke have caused damaged to the left side of my body. So I am able to talk. My speech have always returned. And I am very lucky that I can still use my brain although the forgetfull part can be hard to deal with. I cannot walk or stand without help. I have a wheelchair. I type with one finger on my right hand. I have not given up living.
My dear mother suffered strokes but on the right side. She could not talk and was very uncontrollable like a naughty child. Her mind went and she went into Alzheimers very quickly. My mother did have mobilty and could never be left alone. I wish some one else could write this for me as they could explain better and tell of the good days with my mother and the bad days but there were funny days. But it's hard for me to write it all down myself. Mam was a 24 hour, 7 days a week job so I was pleased to have my husband and especially my younger daughter who was 9 year old at the time. Mam had many tantrums but my daughter was great as mam responded to her, like child to child. Then I found a way to calm my mother. We recorded her favourite hymns and she loved Coronation Street, a British Soap. We played the tapes and mam would fall a sleep. The hardest part was my own mother not knowing me, bit by bit her memory faded away. Alzheimers is a cruel illness. Before my mothers massive stroke and last one, I think for one moment she knew me. As I knelt down to tuck her in bed there where tears in her eyes and she softly stroke my face. I felt she was trying to say she loved me but could not speak a word. That was it then by morning came the massive stroke and mam went into a coma. I was with her when she died. The memories of that last 15 months keep fading in and out and I only wish I could tell the whole story. The difference between her strokes and mine.
My mother was very independant and never gave in, in some ways I am like her. I got help to teach me the computer and I learned so much I have two websites. I joined some very nice Women's groups on the Internet and I keep my mind active. This last stroke as slowed me down and I feel drunk at times although I do not drink. It is harder now to do things and to say things. I live most of my time in my bedroom. My husband and daughter do not give sympathy but may be that is best. I won't give up then as I have often nearly just said no more. As long as I can use my computer and talk to the friends I made on the Internet I will never feel alone.
Each day I thank our Dear Lord for giving me whether a good day or a bad day. I have been very active in my life and been lucky but now I am disabled I can say I am alive and I thank God each day. It is so hard at times but don't give in. Live the best way you can. Copyright©12th April 2004 By Eunice E Powe. All Rights Reserved.
Then 2005 I had breast cancer and it did get very hard. Not only facing treatment for cancer but I had more strokes. The damage did become more and more until I had to give in. I just could not use the computer or do my work. I slipped into depression and lost my way. In time I did slowly helped myself to stop feeling sorry and try and do my work. The computer was hard, as I just could not remember what to do. Thank goodness for friends and all the help written down for me to follow. You got to try and if lucky it will surely give you back the will to go on. You must not give in but try to win back what you can.
It is now 2009
God Bless You All.
If you would like to write to me and tell me how you feel coping with your illness or you may like me to put your story on my website. Please write to me. I can understand how you feel. Click on my name to send me your story. If you would just like me to correspond with you or put your story on my website. Please put in title Website friend. Hello
Don't Give In. LIVE.
|
