Crystal Chimes - spiritualism, inspirational poetry, healing, the aura and philosophy

LIVING WITH CANCER PART TWO

PAIN OF CANCER

In illness so sick the word death comes to mind.
You feel the pain and cannot go further, yet stay behind.
You pray to God for His Healing Power.
To help sleep and not wake for many an hour.
To close like a flower and feel no pain.
And let the warmth of the rays heal once again.

So many nights I pray for Healing from Our Dear Lord.
The Healing Angels too, has I need them on board.
I lie still and hope and pray.
And the Dear Lord and Angels do come and stay.
Many times I have fallen to sleep without knowing.
A pressures sleep to start a new day glowing.

Some days are good, while others are hell.
You can’t let your feelings go, as there is no one to tell.
No one can know what you are going through.
And they only see and be silent as they go away blue.
Never take for granted that your life will go right.
When it is leased expected you could lose that safe light.

I still got another four or five months to heal.
I still at times want to die when the illness is beyond real.
But some how I know God will only take me when it is time.
So please time fly quickly by and I hope I am fine.
Be able to carry on and help others recover as much as I can.
May be my illness will help me to be more patient and help
Another person in pain by holding their hand.

It is the 22nd of July 2005. This is the sad chapter but please remember this is my story and what I went through. You could just fly through the treatment. I was just the unlucky number who suffered. Make sure you talk to your doctors about your treatment and every thing you need to know.

I completed the first four cycles not to bad. I did have thrush and ulcers in the mouth and felt sick but I did get through it. My hair all fell out but it did not bother me. It just felt funny being bald and did it get cold at the back of the head. We took photos to look back on. I had one taken with my husband. He had a pink wig on and me bald. My daughter had the photo blown up big and had it pinned to the back of her t-shirt. She ran in the charity RUN FOR LIFE to do with cancer. My daughter on her own raised nearly 300 pounds. We were very proud of her. My nurse ran in the London one and raised over 700 pounds.

My hair is growing back but not black more of a grey and white. Well time to start my second 4 cycles. These sessions are split in two weeks and three weeks rest. my first session made me ill and I went into hospital for three days. I feel a little cross here as they should have done more test but I was sent home. A couple of days later I had the second session of the chemo. The first night ok but the second day I had high temperature. I did not want to go to hospital so I was very ill the next two days and agreed to go into hospital. If I let it go another three days I would have died. The Chemo was destroying my bone marrow and I only had a few white cells left. I was put into issolation as I had new inmune system. It took them 4 days to save my life. All the veins in my arm are damaged and collapsed getting lines in to get the antibotics into my veins. I came out of danger and they have stopped the chemo. My body could not take another chemo session. One good news is I do have over 90% odds of never having any more cancer. I am on homone tablets now for 5 years. They are working out my radiotherapy cause I still have to have that.

At present I am very weak. I sleep a lot and have no energy. Seem I won't be back to normal till Christmas. Roll on next year.

Now remember this is my story. If you get a temperature phone or go straight to the hospital. Don't take a chance. My stupidness nearly cost me my life. And you could sail through the treatment without problems.

29th of August 2005

I told you at the beginning my husband gave me no support through my illness. I have almost ended my marriage because of the way he took it and he can't even say the word cancer. Today at last he handed me a poem. His feelings finally out. Here is my husband John's poem to me. He does care may be we can move forward now. I see my surgeon on Thursday and still got radiotherapy to have.

TO MY WIFE

Every thing rosy the start of the year.
Little did I know I would almost lose the one I love dear.
Just a twinge nothing much, the doctor didn't think so
And said as such.
Weeks of tests 'till we finally knew.
Chemo to take, make you spew.
Loss of hair, bald as a coot.
Until they flushed it at the root.
Chemo's finished time for a rest.
Radio next. The final test.
I haven't been there as much as I should.
Understanding not much as I could.
Never having been through it.
Never having the stress.
In a state of shock I guess.
She's been a trooper, one of kind.
Strong of body, strong of mind.
I know we make an unlikely pair.
But it's so much better now she's got hair.
I love her more than I can say.
From the time we met to this present day.
If she would forgive me, I know it will be fine.
My sweetheart, lover, and wife of mine.

I do forgive but it would have been easier for me if he had been there for me. I do love him. We all have our faults but you read the poem and he will not say the word CANCER.

Why we have cancer I will never know but I do know and understand what you are going through. I am a good listener. May be I can help you on some foods that agree with you and not make you sick. I think I will try and make a list. One for thrush in the mouth. As well as medication eat live yoghurt.

I will leave this now untill the end of my treatment and I do hope if you want to write to me please put in title of e-mail (Website friend Hello)

Untill My next chapter. God Bless and keep well.

TO GO TO CHAPTER THREE PLEASE GO TO TOP OF PAGE AND "CLICK ON LIVING WITH CANCER CHAPTER THREE."

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